This week's distraction covers the alleged life of Hazel Farris. In 1906, Hazel's short-lived life came to an end after supposedly revealing a dark secret about her past to a new lover. After no one claimed her remains, a local furniture store (and funeral parlour) owner realized Hazel's remains may be a ticket for financial success. Need a distraction? I got you.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Mary Toft, as well as how to take advantage of the poor and uneducated, that it’s never okay to put foreign biological objects in your hoo-hah, and that profiting off others misfortune makes you a total asshat.