Lindsay and Madison discuss Lilias Adie, as well as why you should never trust a Jean, that sea burials won’t keep you safe, and how awesome technology is at reminding us to be human.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the North Berwick Witch Trials, as well as how to blame bad weather on witchcraft, that horrific torture isn’t a good flex, and that killing people based on testimony that you got just so the torture would stop makes you a royal a-hole.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the St. Omer Witch, as well as the pervasive power of gossip, that if you want to leave a lasting legacy, have a cool ass headstone, and that you should always proofread before you make things permanent.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the Mora Witch Trial, as well as how Satan throws bitchin’ parties, that you need to get things in writing, and that you should never use art as a guidebook for killing people.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the Pendle Witches, as well as why family feuds are dangerous, that it’s not cool to accuse members of your family of being witches, and the triumphant return of listener questions.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the trial of Margaret Barclay, as well as why there’s no such thing as “gentle torture,” that Devil dogs sound adorable, and that family feuds should never be grounds for accusing someone of being a witch.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the Torsåker Witch Trials, as well as why it’s never okay to torture children, that the word of a child should never be taken as law, and how to go down in history for committing something horrific.

Lindsay and Madison discuss two Italian Witch Villages, as well as how witches “ruin everything,” that white magic can be celebrated, and how different two places can be while still being exactly the same.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the Polish Witch Trials, as well as how NOT to be a good witch, that it’s okay to condemn people to death as long as you get permission first, and how the Devil does his dirty deeds.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Baba Anujka, as well as how you can turn heartbreak into a money-making glow-up, that snitches get theirs, and how it’s the #YearOfLindsay.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Sin Eaters, as well as why bread can be dangerously delicious, that you should be appreciative of the kindnesses given to you, and how witch hunts can happen even when no witchcraft is involved.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the last witch trial in Ireland, as well as how terrifying small children can be, that blaming others for notoriety is a dick move, and how NOT to survive going back in time.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the first American witch, Alice Young, as well as how easy it was to be a scapegoat, that there were a million and one Johns, and how being first at something isn’t always super great.

Lindsay and special guest Emily discuss the supposed white witch, Elizabeth Budd-Graham, as well as St Osyth’s Witches, that mo’ money equals massive monuments, and how Essex County was the worst county in England for supposed witches.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the history of hot chocolate in Latin America, as well as why you should never put pubes in someone’s morning cup of cocoa, that accusing people of witchcraft is always a dick move, and how denouncing your sins is a great way to avoid being immolated.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the Great Scottish Witch Hunt of 1597, as well as why you should never trust the word of a woman out to save her own skin, that quarrels with neighbors shouldn’t result in someone’s immolation, and how one woman stood up for what was right in the most kickass of ways.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Grace Sherwood—the Witch of Pungo, as well as why pants are a gateway drug to sorcery, that ducking isn’t as fun as it sounds, and how you should never grow anything for medicinal purposes, ever.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Major Thomas Weir—the Wizard of West Bow, as well as why you should always question anyone who can be seen as a “pillar of the community,” that being a sexual deviant can have serious consequences, and how you should always double-check before you go number two.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Goody Garlick, as well as why being a healer was basically the Russian Roulette of occupations, that people who live in small towns are gossipy assholes, and how you should always treat others how you want to be treated (unless you want to be treated like a witch).

Lindsay and Madison discuss the victims of the Vardø Witch Trials, as well as why you should never attend a rager on a mountain, that spending time with cats and dogs is a bad idea, and how you should always avoid morning doves—especially if they start following you around.